Part XX: Focus

Craig is up to something. He must be telling the others about how I doubted Macnelia. Never mind that he didn’t take the shot that might have saved her. The man on Drometica was right about Craig: “You’re not the type who shoots and moves on. You agonize over the decision.” If he hadn’t hesitated, Macnelia might still be alive.

Jyra’s stomach contracted, interrupting her stream of thought. The memory of the guard Berk shot in Mastranada’s engine room took command of her focus. The guard’s body must be buried under the shattered mountain, a tumble of broken rock, all that remained of the resistance base on Drometica.

How many guards did we kill on Orasten? But they were attacking. They wanted to kill us. And they did get one of us.

Jyra sat up on her bunk, shaking her head and staring around her dimly lit room that had become a cell. The door refused to open and no one came to unlock it. The air vents were too small to accommodate her. She could do nothing but wait. Her thoughts returned to her home world. Jyra hoped to save it through her involvement in the resistance, but the heat on Tyrorken was rising and there was no way to stop it. In a few months, she wouldn’t be able to survive on its surface.

“How did I end up here?” she said aloud, pushing herself off her mattress to resume pacing. She pushed her hair out of her face with an incredulous smile. There was no other way to acknowledge her peculiar circumstances. She had spent her life on Tyrorken, dreaming of exploring space while working as an apprentice mechanic. She had never thought of killing anyone, let alone rationalizing such an action. Yet here she was on an enemy ship the resistance commandeered (by chance), locked up by a former friend, with no explicit reason given for her imprisonment.

What do I do when they let me out? Jyra wondered. No matter the explanation, how can I properly serve some cause when, at any moment, someone might decide to lock me up? Jyra realized it was possible others had been sealed in their quarters too. Except Berk. If he ran out of whiskey, he’d smash his way out. He could probably manage it even if he had plenty to drink to keep him in check.

Jyra knelt on the floor and pressed her fingertips to the cold metal. She didn’t feel any vibration and supposed the engines were silent. For now, it seemed the resistance wasn’t rushing back to destroy TF ships. Jyra returned to her bunk and huddled under her blanket. She stared at the picture of Dario she had retrieved from Macnelia’s room. The frame had several deep scratches and some of the paint had chipped away.

Without thinking, Jyra stretched out her hand and picked up the picture. She turned it around and bent open the backing tabs. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but she certainly didn’t think a piece of paper and another photo would fall onto her mattress. The back of the photo of Dario was blank along with the backing. Jyra set the frame aside and picked up the loose photo. It was the picture Macnelia had taken of Jyra and Craig together in front of Mastranada before the bomb run. The smell of her neighborhood burning filled Jyra’s nose through memory. She half crumpled the photo and threw it aside onto her blanket. Her attitude toward Craig now couldn’t be more different from the moment Macnelia snapped the picture. It captured another time, not long past, though it felt as if years intervened.

 Jyra turned her attention to the piece of paper and turned it over with trembling fingers. Jyra couldn’t even read for a moment, overwhelmed with the joy of seeing her brother’s words again.

The feeling didn’t last long as she began reading:

My dear Macnelia,

I hope the mountains are treating you well. My parents and I are looking into employment opportunities for me at TF. It looks like I might be working out on the rigs. It’s not the safest thing to do, but it will get me into the company. My sister’s worried enough for both of us, so don’t you get nervous either.

I talked to Dad about the drilling compounds for the Drometica mission. He’s not sure why you’re having trouble figuring out what they are. Normally they’re clearly marked. He told me some of them are likely more aggressive than the usual solvents, so be careful with them.

They’ve finally got the supply ship crash site mostly cleaned up. Even so, I went into town today and there are still lines of people outside the medical clinics.

Stay safe. Next time you see me, maybe we’ll be coworkers.

All my love,

Dario

Jyra got to the end of the letter and recognized how much she marveled at her brother’s handwriting; she had been too distracted to absorb any of the content. She reread the letter and folded the paper in half, realizing Macnelia must have contracted her illness during her work for TF on Drometica. Dario was trying to protect her by identifying the chemicals she had to use. For some reason, they weren’t labeled.

Until she saw it in the letter, Jyra had completely forgotten about the TF ship that crashed on Tyrorken, carrying drums of drilling solvents. Flames burned for days at the crash site, belching smoke the color of crude oil into the sky. The ship had gone down near a small suburb and within few weeks, every resident reported to medical clinics. After hearing about Craig’s parents and living through Macnelia’s death, Jyra was sure she knew what illness they had caught.

Maybe in the wake of the ship crash and the resulting threat to public health, TF started removing the labels so workers wouldn’t know if they were using harmful substances. Jyra rolled over, resting her head on her pillow and allowing her thoughts carry her to sleep.

She woke up, aware of a fading dream of the black smoke from the ship crash billowing upward. It mixed with the clouds and spread across the sky, moving with the wind. Even when a part of TF literally crashed and burned, it still brought the planet closer to death. Jyra hadn’t been able to accept the reality that Tyrorken was beyond saving. Even before Berk confirmed it, Macnelia had told Jyra TF was killing the planet. It seemed farfetched at the time, but it was happening and Jyra could do nothing to stop it. Until she could leave her room, she had no way to even know what was going on. She kicked the blanket off, her dream replaced by questions she couldn’t answer.

                        *

A muted clicking noise caught Jyra’s attention. She was sorting through her duffel bag on the floor and turned around, looking for the source of the sound. The door to her room slid back halfway and Leonick entered hastily. He immediately slid the door shut and let out a long breath.

“What’s happening?” Jyra asked, keeping her voice low.

“Craig,” Leonick said. “He had you sealed in your quarters. He has made some serious accusations against you.”

“Do they involve anything about how I thought Macnelia wasn’t fit to lead the resistance?” Jyra asked.

“Yes,” Leonick said. As usual, his face was impossible to read. “He also said you accused him to letting one of the ship guards shoot Macnelia.”

“He’s exaggerating,” Jyra said. “I told him I was worried about Macnelia. As it turned out, I was right to be worried. Am I the only one locked up and does he intend to keep me here while we try to wipe out the TF fleet with one ship?”

“Yes. Craig seems to have assumed the role of leader,” Leonick said.

“How? Why? I’ve never understood how that role is filled,” Jyra said, aware that her voice was growing louder. “Did he just claim it? Did everyone vote to grant him that position?”

“Things are certainly more charged than usual,” Leonick said. “He is telling people what they want to hear.”

“But you can see through it,” Jyra said. “We both can. There’s a difference between taking a wise path forward and waging a reckless attack. You’re opinion matters, too. What does Berk think?”

“I do not know what Berk thinks.”

“But you two are friends,” Jyra said.

“Sometimes,” Leonick said. “We have traveled together awhile, but Berk is not always himself. I believe he is more vulnerable now and considering following orders.”

“What are they? What does Craig want to do?”

“He wants to head toward Tyrorken and, depending on the risks, start firing on TF ships.”

“What about the cameras?” Jyra asked. “You told everyone about them. Whatever ship you destroy makes you the next target.”

“Craig wants me to build a device that will send out a frequency that disrupts the cameras.”

“Can you do that?”

Leonick shrugged.

“Until I get something built, we cannot begin the assault,” he said.

“The attack still seems like a bad idea,” Jyra said, dropping back onto her bunk. “It’s like you said: agitated minds do not create sound plans.”

“I think I am underestimating how the loss of Macnelia is affecting the others,” Leonick said. “It could be the reason Craig and his plans appeal to them now.”

Jyra took a deep breath before she asked her next question.

“Do you believe what Craig said about me?”

“I do not,” Leonick said. “But I was struck by you comparing the resistance to the enemy we face. You are the only person aboard this ship who seems to have recognized the importance of distinguishing us from them. Craig’s desire to fight is a consequence of a general loss of focus.”

Jyra leaned back against the wall. Although she had been cooped up in her room, she felt exhausted. She remembered how she felt after hearing that her home planet was lost. Never had she been so gripped by despair. Even following the deaths of those closest to her, Jyra had been able to act, to somehow respond to the atrocities.

“The resistance failed me,” Jyra muttered.

“I understand,” Leonick said. Jyra wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but rather than find out, she asked a broader question.

“Why are you here?” she said.

Leonick crept back to the door and placed his ear against it for a moment. Then he walked across the room to stand in front of Jyra. He stared squarely into her eyes as he spoke.

“I am here to give you choice.”

                        *

Jyra didn’t know what to say in the wake of Leonick’s elaboration. One thing was clear: if Craig held his position as the leader, Jyra couldn’t hope to be involved in the resistance.

“I have no certainty about his long-term plan,” Leonick said. “That said, I would not be surprised if Craig tries to leave you at the next port, whenever or wherever that may be.”

Every time I think about the resistance, I think about its futility and weakness, Jyra thought. The idea didn’t trigger the usual mental misgivings or rationalizations. She accepted it and took a deep breath.

“I joined the resistance to bring down TF,” she said. “We destroyed their main complex, but wiping them out completely will take much longer unless we recruit more members. I don’t see that happening if we launch an attack we’re not ready for. The resistance won’t survive if Craig doesn’t make that a priority.

“I got into the resistance following my brother’s death. During the mission to rescue Derek, I heard my parents die. Now Macnelia’s dead. I can’t be surrounded by loss anymore, especially if I’m a subordinate to someone who wants to lock me in my room.”

“I understand,” Leonick repeated. “And I agree with you. Death is not easy to cope with, but I hope you find your way to the peace you need. You have a strong spirit and when TF eventually falls, I expect you will have a part in its demise.”

“If I had my way, I wouldn’t kill anyone ever again,” Jyra said. “I can’t imagine passing such misery to others.”

“I do not speak of taking the lives of people,” Leonick said. “I do not do that myself, but I have no qualms about ending an immoral organization that is responsible for thousands of deaths.”

“So my choice is to stay here or leave,” Jyra said heavily. “Are you suggesting I wait for Craig to pitch me out on another planet?”

“I figured you would choose to leave, which means you can depart whenever you wish.”

“You told me Craig is retrofitting Mastranada with one of the laser cannons,” Jyra said. “I can’t take that ship.”

“Nor would I advise it,” Leonick said. “No need to make Craig any angrier with you.”

“Well I don’t want to throw open a door and go for a walk in space. It’s cold out there and there’s nothing to stand on.”

“I thought a crisis capsule might serve as a better way to exit the vessel,” Leonick said.

Jyra hadn’t thought of that, but it made sense. She could fit everything she needed in one and, for the second time in her life, leave everything she knew behind.

“I don’t get it,” she said, shaking her head. “How come you aren’t leading the resistance?”

Leonick smiled his small smile.

“I am too smart for that,” he said.

“No seriously,” Jyra said. “Why aren’t you?”

“The position has been filled,” Leonick said, then his smile disappeared. “More to the point, I am not equipped to be an effective leader of this resistance. I would have to give orders to take lives. I have only chosen to kill once. That experience changed me, not for the better, and I do not plan to ever do anything like it again. Pack your things.”

                        *

Ten minutes later, they met in the corridor that led to the crisis capsules. Leonick presented Jyra with a heavy package wrapped in paper.

“Put it in your duffel if you can,” he whispered. “And be careful where you use it.”

“What is it?” Jyra asked.

“You will find out later,” he said. “We must hurry.”

They moved down the corridor, their ears straining to hear anything besides two pairs of footsteps. Once they rounded the first corner, Leonick spoke in the same whisper.

“Do you have any weapons?”

“A dagger.”

“Better than nothing,” Leonick said. “All the guns are secured now so I could not get one for you. Remember, there is no telling where you might land. It could be in a city or the wilderness. Take time to get your bearings.”

He pulled a bottle and small box from inside his coat and handed them to her as they walked side by side.

“Food and water,” he continued briskly. “If you run out of water and you are outside civilization, finding fresh water is your top priority. If there is an ocean nearby, do not drink from it.”

Jyra nodded stiffly. Each step she took toward the capsules reinforced what she was about to do.

“What planet I’m likely to land on?” she asked.

“Silanpre I think,” Leonick replied. “It happens to be orbiting about as close as it gets to Tyrorken.”

“Isn’t that where Berk is from?” Jyra asked.

“It is,” Leonick said shortly.

“Does everyone believe what Craig said about me?”

Leonick didn’t answer immediately. At that moment, the crisis capsules appeared as the rounded the next corner.

“Neeka and Shandra seem to agree with his point of view,” Leonick said as Jyra set her duffel on the floor. “Derek defended you a few times but ultimately fell silent. I could not figure out what Berk was thinking. I suspect he still respects you.”

“I wish I could say good-bye to him,” Jyra said.

Leonick nodded and bowed his head ever so slightly.

“Too risky,” he said. “But I will pass the word along.”

“At least I can tell you good-bye,” Jyra said. “And thank you. We both know where I’d be if you didn’t come along. Why did you?”

Leonick paused again, but his face betrayed nothing about what went on behind his eyes.

“I do not know what Craig intended to do with you,” he said. “Locking you in your room was not a promising start. The way I see it, if someone is working against TF in any capacity, that grander cause is better served by keeping such a person out of confinement. Besides that, I think you are persistent and your ambition is bigger than this resistance. That is why I gave you a choice.”

“Persistent?” Jyra asked, raising her eyebrows.

“You are still here,” Leonick said. Jyra remembered telling herself that, but a ship wide broadcast interrupted the memory.

“Jyra, I know you can hear me,” Craig’s voice blared out of the nearest speaker. “I need to speak with you in the main hangar. Please meet me there in five minutes.”

“All significant choices have tests,” Leonick said, uncharacteristically rolling his eyes at the speaker. “But you haven’t lost focus,” he added as Jyra approached the nearest crisis capsule.

She pulled the access lever. The door dropped down and revealed the inside of the tiny spacecraft. The interior was painted gray. The small control console lit up beneath a porthole filled with far away stars. A single seat complete with a built-in safety harness, sat in the middle of the capsule. A small storage locker had been framed into the wall next to the door and Jyra managed to stuff her duffel inside it and secure the latch.

“You can figure out how to control it,” Leonick said. Jyra wasn’t sure if it was a statement or question.

“I can’t exactly navigate, can I?” Jyra said.

“A couple thrusters can push you left or right to avoid obstacles during landing. Aside from that, the capsule falls where it falls.”

“Why overcomplicate something like falling?” Jyra said, hoping the sarcasm would settle her nerves. She placed the food and water on the floor next to the seat, and noticed the water rippling in the bottle. She stepped back into the corridor for a final good-bye

“If I land in the ocean, what do I do?” she asked.

“There is a raft in the locker with your duffel,” Leonick said. “The capsule should come to the surface and remain there for about fifteen minutes before it sinks so get out as fast as you can.”

Without another word, Leonick opened his arms and pulled Jyra into a brief hug. She felt his greasy shirt and caught the aroma of stale whiskey, suddenly struck by how much she was going to miss it.

“Thank you again,” she said. “Good luck with the time machine.”

Leonick only smiled. Jyra turned her back to climb into the capsule. She cinched the harness around her and took a deep breath. She almost forgot about the provisions next to her on the floor; she scooped up her water and food and secured them in a compartment next to the console.

Jyra placed her palm over a yellow button, its blinking light throwing an amber glow onto the walls, and dropped her hand. The capsule began to vibrate and Jyra heard the launch drive winding up. The door hissed shut, the cabin pressurized, and the dynamo roared, spitting the capsule from the ship and taking Jyra into space with it.

The next installment will be available on the new website located at: kylerbarton.com Come check it out!

Part XIX: Reckless

The resistance gathered at the airlock to release Macnelia’s body into space. Jyra wasn’t sure how long everyone stood in silent vigil. Another Mourning Mark smudged Jyra’s forehead. Beneath her sadness, she felt anger festering. She glanced sideways at Craig and her jaw tightened.

“Peace for now and always,” Leonick said. Everyone repeated the words and Berk pressed the button to open the airlock.

Neeka clutched Derek’s arm and shook with grief where she stood. Shandra wrapped her arms around Craig and the two of them held each other in silence against the wall of the corridor.

Jyra left the group. It was easier to feel alone in solitude rather than in company. She followed the corridor back to the main hangar. The next thing she knew, she had returned to Macnelia’s quarters. Chairs were still drawn around the bed. The blanket was missing from the mattress; Berk had wrapped it around Macnelia’s body before carrying her back to the airlock.

Jyra crossed to the bedside table and looked in the open drawer. She saw two more bottles, but neither bore any clues about what ailment the contents were supposed to treat. At the very bottom of the drawer, Jyra found something far more interesting. She pulled out a framed picture of her brother. It had been taken around the time Dario began working at TF. His dark hair hung across his forehead, hiding his eyebrows. His eyes, however, gleamed against his suntanned face. Jyra pulled the picture against herself, as though it would bring her closer to her brother.

Macnelia had rejoined him somewhere. Jyra remembered when Leonick discussed the idea of galaxies parallel to Kaosaam. In one of them, perhaps Dario, Macnelia, and her parents still existed. The thought provided Jyra little comfort, because it only reinforced how terrible things had become in her galaxy.

Jyra caught herself thinking about Craig again and tried to push him out of her mind, but for all the good it did, she might as well try to bring her family back from the dead. She hated herself for letting thoughts of Craig distract her in a time of grief. She knew she had been at odds with Macnelia lately, but she was positive it wasn’t all her fault. Something had happened to Macnelia before the bullet hit, but even her behavior in her last moments had been odd.

Jyra remembered her discussion with Berk and her own words filled her head. “The way Macnelia’s been talking about this assault, it’s as though she wants it to be the final one. It seems she doesn’t care if it kills her.” Unrest on Tyrorken and an inability to assess conditions on the planet had prevented the initiation of the assault. Even now, Jyra wondered how Macnelia planned to attack the TF fleet with two ships, one of them unarmed.

The sound of footsteps interrupted Jyra’s obsessive analysis of the feasibility of the assault. She tucked this picture into her jacket then turned to see Leonick in the doorway. His expression forlorn, he entered and sat in a chair on the opposite wall of the room. Seeing him reminded Jyra of the way Macnelia looked at him with her smile as she lay in Orasten’s hangar, her life leaking away. Jyra felt tears searing her cheeks as she spoke, but her voice was quite even.

“She seemed relieved,” she said, shaking her head. “I can’t understand why.”

“I can,” Leonick said without hesitation.

He picked up one of the bottles on the edge of the bed where he’d left it.

“Berk was not the only one who ran out of a remedy,” Leonick said. “This bottle held a nerve anti-degenerative. This pill is manufactured to treat a specific disease. Being from Tyrorken, I assume you are familiar with the illness.”

Jyra drew a blank until she remembered Craig’s parents.

“Somasteria,” she said, wiping her face dry as a chill swept over her.

“Correct,” Leonick said.

“Did you know?”

“Not until I saw the bottles when I treated her,” Leonick said. “I too believe she was relieved, but it does not minimize the sadness.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Jyra said. “I can’t imagine living with a disease like that.”

Leonick drew out his flask, and took a long sip. He offered it to Jyra and she accepted, thinking of her father drinking from his flask after Dario’s funeral.

“When did she get sick?” Jyra asked, cringing as the liquor burned her throat.

“It is difficult to say,” Leonick said. “Not everyone sufferers from the illness in the exact same manner. Some symptoms last longer, shorter, or do not occur at all. The only way to know is if she gave someone that information.”

Jyra immediately thought Berk might have known. Although, when she had asked him directly about Macnelia’s strange behavior, he didn’t mention anything besides stress as a possible cause. Jyra didn’t think he would have lied directly to her. She felt her mind starting to analyze again and she struggled to ignore it, wanting to hold Macnelia in her thoughts.

As though he sensed Jyra’s mental conflict, Leonick asked a question helped center her.

“What is the significance of the Mark?”

Jyra stared at the two fingertips that still bore the dark stain of charcoal. She could feel the powder sticking to forehead.

“It’s a tradition on Tyrorken,” she said. “The idea is we come from darkness and we must return to it eventually. The Mark makes the feeling into something visual. It helps keep memories alive of those we’ve lost, but who we still love and care for.”

Leonick considered the information for a moment and nodded slowly.

“Wear it well,” he said, pushing himself out of the chair. “I think I need to lie down.”

“Me too,” Jyra said, following Leonick from Macnelia’s room.

Alone in her bunk, Jyra stared into the darkness, wondering when she might follow her family into it. She rolled over, willing herself not to think about it. Before she fell asleep, she wondered if Leonick practiced any customs after the death of a friend.

Jyra still smelled the smoke from the gunfire when she awoke; the odor had settled in her clothes and hair. As her grogginess subsided, she remembered Macnelia had been killed and it became harder to sit up. Hurried footsteps outside her door stoked her curiosity, though. She dressed quickly and made for the bridge, certain that’s where the person had been headed.

Neeka was looking over Berk’s shoulder at Berk’s computer. Berk smelled strongly of whiskey (more so than usual) and his hair stuck out in all directions. The skin beneath Neeka’s eyes sagged and she looked exhausted. It appeared as though both of them had dressed quickly.

“What’s going on?” Jyra asked, striding toward them.

Neeka glared at her, but Berk answered, not taking his eyes off the monitor.

“We’re losing the planet,” he said.

“What?” Jyra said. Did he mean TF was gaining the upper hand against the Nilcyns?

“I should have seen it earlier when I was planning the assault,” Berk said. “I studied all those weather maps and didn’t make the connections. The wind readings threw me off.”

“What?” Jyra repeated.

Neeka left Berk’s side and walked toward the exit ladder.

“Tyrorken’s dying,” Neeka said, her voice hollow and strained. “The pollution’s overwhelming the atmosphere.”

“How?” Jyra demanded, grabbing a chair and sitting next to Berk. “How can you tell?”

“Projection,” Berk said. “Look at the temperature history. It’s been climbing for months. TF has access to this information, but I’ll bet there are few souls on Tyrorken who can map weather so precisely. The temperatures are increasing much faster now. Soon, you might only be able to survive on the surface with a protective suit, and not for long even then.”

Jyra placed her head in her hands and stared at the floor. She remembered looking at her fragile world through the sight on the laser cannon. She couldn’t save Tyrorken any more than she could save her family. Then words, thoughts, and feelings failed her. TF had taken her family, Macnelia, and her home planet. She stood up, and placed a hand on the back of Berk’s chair to steady herself.

“There’s…no way to reverse it, is there?” she said, realizing Berk probably expected her to say something.

“I don’t think so,” Berk said gently. “I’m sorry.”

Jyra felt her hand slip from the chair. Her mind went blank again and the next thing she knew, she was stepping off the bottom of the ladder into the main passage. Given all the hardships Jyra faced—losing her brother, fleeing her home planet, hiding mere feet from her parents when they were shot, to watching Macnelia die—for the first time, she felt hopeless. She would have preferred to feel nothing.

Jyra heard someone coming up the passage and Craig appeared, walking at a brisk pace.

“I just saw Neeka,” he said. “She said Tyrorken won’t be habitable much longer.”

Jyra gave a dull nod.

“What’s going on?” Craig asked.

“Nothing,” Jyra said. “My family’s dead along with my home world and Macnelia too.” She walked past him.

“Don’t say that,” he said. Jyra looked at him over her shoulder.

“Ever word I said is true,” she said, her mind working fast as she recalled the food supply run she and Craig had made on Drometica. “It’s just like the man said when he had the gun on you in the stock room. You struggle to make decisions, and even when you do, the consequences of the decision haunt you. Is that why you froze in Orasten’s hangar? Is that why you couldn’t take the shot that might have saved—”

“Stop!” Craig shouted advancing on Jyra, who fell silent.

“I’d advise that you quit verbally attacking resistance members,” Craig said. “This isn’t the first time you’ve done it, and I can promise you it will be one of the last if you keep it up. This resistance doesn’t need help from traitors.”

Craig spun on his heel and climbed up the ladder before Jyra could say a word.

                        *

Jyra had fallen asleep fuming from her recent interaction with Craig. She knew she shouldn’t have provoked him, but she couldn’t help feeling justified that it showed what he thought of her. How had she fallen out of favor with him so quickly? She remembered when she told him that she questioned whether Macnelia was fit to lead the resistance. Once she had convinced Craig she was only concerned for Macnelia’s welfare, he mentioned how much trouble she might have been in if the conversation had been with another member of the resistance.

“You’d really be in trouble then,” Craig had said. Though his tone was lighthearted, it sounded more foreboding in Jyra’s memory.

A knock on her door roused her. Berk waited in the passage. He had done nothing to tame his hair and looked as haggard as before.

“We’re meeting in the main hangar in ten minutes,” he said, after taking a swig from his flask. “The resistance needs to get its bearings.”

“Do you feel well enough to meet?” Jyra asked, hoping she didn’t sound rude.

“My head’s killing me,” Berk said, clamping his palm to his forehead. “I had to…overindulge to rebalance my body. Sorry if I scared you during the fight.”

“Not at all,” Jyra said. “You just surprised me. I didn’t know you fight like that.”

“I don’t know where the strength comes from,” Berk said. “I can’t do it all the time. You’ll have to ask the hospital, I suppose.”

“I’ll get right on it,” Jyra said, her spirits slightly elevated by Berk’s presence. She could see the impact of Macnelia’s death in his slumped shoulders and drooping eyelids. Even so, she gave Berk a small smile and insisted she would be at the meeting. Berk set off down the corridor, leaving Jyra to wonder how she would handle being in the main hangar with the rest of the resistance, particularly Craig.

Jyra assumed everyone had slept after Macnelia’s service, but, like Berk, they all looked spent. Neeka was trembling. Derek tried to comfort her, but his arm seemed strained just by supporting its own weight. Shandra’s skin was paler than usual and Craig stared at the floor, unwilling to lift his chin above his shoulders. Leonick sat down on the floor of the hangar, barely hiding a heavy sigh. Everyone else followed his example, forming a small circle on the floor.

“I thought it would be a good idea to gather and discuss what’s happening now and what we’re doing next,” Berk began. “Hopefully, we’ll establish our future actions and goals by the time this meeting’s over.”

He paused. Jyra wasn’t even sure he had completed his thought, but Neeka spoke up.

“Don’t we already know what we’re doing?” she said. “We’re going after TF ships.”

An uncomfortable silence followed and Berk spoke again.

“Recent discoveries suggest that may no longer be a wise course of action,” he said. “According to the weather instruments aboard this ship, which are some of the most accurate you can get anywhere in the galaxy, Tyrorken is succumbing to the high levels of pollution in its atmosphere. A general estimate gives the planet about two months before it becomes uninhabitable.

“The second discovery,” Berk said, lowering his head for a moment, “is Leonick found medication in Macnelia’s quarters that indicate she’s been suffering from Somasteria.”

Jyra saw Craig look up, his eyes narrowed. She wasn’t sure what caused it, but Jyra suddenly realized she didn’t want to hear anything Craig had to say, so she spoke before he could.

“I’ve been concerned about Macnelia’s behavior,” she said, suddenly aware of how insensitive she sounded. “She was a strong leader, but it might be worthwhile to revisit her plans and discuss whether we should pursue them. It’s not her fault.”

“If I understand you correctly,” Craig said, and Jyra heard the anger in his voice, “it sounds like you’re saying if someone has Somasteria, their input is subject to more scrutiny.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” Jyra said. She cast about in her mind for a way to direct the group’s attention elsewhere. “But I will say I think it’s a concern when a couple people destroy another ship without consulting the rest of the resistance.”

“An enemy ship!” Neeka cut in sharply.

“TF and the Nilcyns kill without a second thought!” Jyra yelled. “What you did shows we’re no better than them!”

“Careful,” Craig said sarcastically. “I can’t tell if it’s you or an illness talking.”

“Enough!” Berk roared, his voice echoing around the hangar. “No more pointless bickering. I’m sure we all have the best intentions for the survival of the resistance.”

Jyra heard the words, but realized she couldn’t agree with them. The resistance was all she knew, but her last statement replayed again and again in her head.

Why was the resistance any better than TF or the Nilcyns? The resistance had taken out the TF complex on Tyrorken, saved Derek, and acquired a TF ship. But it hadn’t been able to save Tyrorken or Macnelia, the leader of the resistance. The moment Macnelia had been wounded, Neeka had taken it upon herself to destroy the enemy ship and Craig joined her.

It was too reckless, Jyra thought. That was the difference. Bombing the TF complex had been planned for a long time. She knew innocent people had been killed, but at least that consequence had been considered. We had time to come to terms with what we were doing. We did it as a group, Jyra reflected. Shooting Orasten was nothing but a thoughtless act of revenge.

Jyra shifted her focus back to the meeting, though she regretted it immediately. Craig was discussing Somasteria and Macnelia.

“You can’t just assume the disease compromised the plans she crafted,” he said. “My parents kept their mental faculties until the very end.”

Jyra bit her tongue, self-conscious of how the group would react if she challenged Craig. But she wanted to because he lied. When he talked to her about how Somasteria affected his parents, Craig told Jyra in the early stages of the illness, his parents had issues with their memories and sleeping.

Her mind drew a parallel so quickly, Jyra felt as though the thought ricocheted inside her skull. When the resistance left Drometica, the time bomb Macnelia set to destroy the base went off much sooner than expected; the blast nearly took out the whole resistance. Jyra found out later Macnelia hadn’t been able to recall exactly what she did that might have triggered the bomb.

Craig’s voice jolted Jyra back to the hangar.

“There’s no reason we shouldn’t keep hunting down TF ships,” Craig said. “Or does everyone want to quit that easily?”

Shandra put a hand on Craig’s arm, but he only returned his gaze to the floor and fell silent.

“This isn’t about dishonoring Macnelia’s intentions,” Berk said. “We’re here to make a new plan of action. Going after TF ships isn’t the most practical approach. We have one armed ship so I think it’s too risky to launch a full-scale offensive.”

“Why didn’t you raise this concern before?” Neeka asked.

Berk took a deep breath before he replied.

“I admit that I didn’t like the plan from beginning, but I didn’t want to dampen Macnelia’s spirits at the time,” Berk said. “I’m not proud of it.”

“It may be risky, but I think Macnelia’s vision is still the best way forward,” Craig said. “TF ships are still under siege by Nilcyn forces. They’re distracted, which means now is the perfect time to strike.”

“Do you know why I sent you to stop Neeka from shooting Orasten?” Leonick asked Craig. He didn’t wait for a reply.

“Most TF vessels are equipped with cameras on their hulls. In the event of rapid decompression resulting from laser blasts or the impact of other heavy ammunition, the cameras snap images that generate a complete picture of the surroundings. One camera usually captures the identification key on the attacking ship. These images are beamed along with a distress signal to nearby TF ships. If Orasten was close enough to them, other TF ships will now know this ship fired on a friendly vessel. I know that a distress package from Orasten went out, because we received it on one of the bridge computers. I meant what I said to that captain about betrayal. TF ships will turn guns locked onto Nilcyn targets toward us if they have the slightest chance of shooting us down.”

Craig shifted uncomfortably on the floor. Jyra didn’t realize she had been holding her breath the moment Leonick began speaking.

“I suggest we take a break,” Leonick said. “We are not making any progress. Everyone should go relax. Agitated minds do not create sound plans.”

                        *

Jyra lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t clear one thought from her head. Of all the uncomfortable moments in the meeting, she couldn’t get past the realization that she wasn’t sure how she felt about the resistance. Craig and Neeka seemed determined to follow Macnelia’s desire to destroy the TF fleet. As far as Jyra could tell, both Craig and Neeka had ignored Leonick at the end of the meeting.

Jyra stood up and paced in her quarters as memories of the meeting cascaded over her. She hated how she had characterized Macnelia and her illness. She wondered what everyone thought of her now. Jyra didn’t mean to insult Macnelia’s memory, but as she thought about it, Craig was guiltier of that than anyone.

Nearly all his arguments were based on carrying Macnelia’s vision forward, which looked fine on the surface. The more Jyra thought about it, the more worried she became. Craig was very driven. He’d been that way at the garage. Sometimes he would work late into the night, desperate to complete a project. Nothing else mattered until he finished. He’d latched onto a part of Macnelia’s vision and wanted to achieve it, even if it meant ignoring significant warnings from members of the resistance and lying to them.

Jyra stopped pacing and faced the door. She couldn’t keep her thoughts to herself. She had to tell someone. The door to her room, however, wouldn’t open. She tried several times, but it didn’t budge. Jyra pounded on it and called for help. The beats of her fists faded into silence. She slumped against the door, quite certain she knew who locked her in.

Part XIII: Somasteria

A few hours later, Jyra lay on her bed, turning her mother’s locket in her fingers. She couldn’t stop thinking about what Derek had said. It made her realize she hadn’t considered the sacrifices she might have to make to get to the bottom of Dario’s death.

Her life on Tyrorken had been one of perpetual hardship and struggle. It was hard to forget the nights when it was difficult to breathe because of the pollution. As she grew older, her parents spent more time at work. TF even consumed most of the time Jyra would have had with Dario. There was little to be excited about on Tyrorken besides her dream of becoming a pilot.

Jyra knew she couldn’t escape her past experiences, but she could move beyond them. She no longer lived on Tyrorken. It was her home planet, but it wasn’t her home.

Jyra sat up and set the locket on her bedside table. She dug a mirror out of her duffel and examined her reflection. Her dark eyes glittered at her beneath her equally dark hair, which hung past her shoulders. She gave herself a small smile, which disappeared when she noticed no trace of the Mourning Mark on her forehead. She touched the spot where it had been. As she lowered her arm, she caught sight of the cut near her elbow. It no longer pained her, but Jyra could tell a scar would remain; the skin around the wound glistened in the dim light.

It would likely shine for a few weeks just like the scar on the back of her hand. Jyra looked at the white line that began at the base of the knuckle of her index finger. The sight of the scar reminded her of Jed. She couldn’t think of him without considering his message.

Did he carry his grudge against TF into his career with the company? When did he decide to sabotage the ship? Did he act alone? The last thought opened a whole new path of inquiry. If others helped him, were they associated with the resistance?

Though she fought to resist it, the memory of her parents’ murder filled her mind. Just before the killing shots sounded, the guard had said information had been passed to a known enemy. Could that enemy have been the resistance? Tadwin had also said TF had killed Dario. Jyra clutched her head in her hands, straining to recall the details.

“How far does this go?” Jyra breathed aloud, unable to assemble the information into a coherent thought. How had all these different people come to turn against TF? Jed, Jyra’s parents and brother, and all the members of the resistance with Jyra on this ship had a common goal and somehow weren’t aware of it. After witnessing the TF agents’ assault on Derek, Jyra understood the need for secrecy had been of utmost importance. As she thought about it, however, the confidentiality had undermined the resistance more than protected it. If they all had been able to work together from the beginning, perhaps TF would have fallen long ago. Then again, the resistance could have suffered that exact same fate.

Jyra’s thoughts returned to Tadwin’s insistence that TF had killed Dario. He had said it with a conviction Jyra had never heard in her father’s voice. He was often soft-spoken and vague, never one to speak in absolutes.

Before she could consider the idea further, voices in the corridor distracted her. Jyra stood up as quietly as he could and pressed her ear to the door. Berk’s gruff tone was easy to identify, but it took several moments before Jyra recognized that a second, breathless voice belonged to Macnelia.

“Settle down and just tell me what’s wrong,” Berk said gently.

“I’m having a hard time,” Macnelia gasped. She sounded out of breath. “I…I’m not sure what my…our next move is.”

For a moment, all Jyra could hear was the sound of Macnelia taking deep breaths.

“You’re pushing yourself too hard,” Berk said.

“No,” Macnelia said. “It’s not that. We’re adrift in more ways than one. I don’t know what happened back there, but the Nilcyns were already attacking. We need to understand why. And we’ve got to get this ship back online. It’s all we have to further our campaign.”

“What do you want to see happen?” Berk said. Silence followed his question and Jyra strained against her door, listening.

“I want to see Tyrorken restored,” she said. “I want to save that planet and drive TF into oblivion.”

“Well we’re off to a good start,” Berk said.

“And we have a long way to go,” Macnelia continued. She began to sound more like herself. “Taking out their headquarters doesn’t eliminate them. There’s still more to do.”

“Do you feel better?”

“I think so,” Macnelia said, her voice faded with footsteps as she and Berk continued down the corridor.

Jyra returned to her bed, thoughts of her parents and the resistance suspended as she pondered what might be troubling Macnelia.

                       *

After another shift of rest, the resistance resumed work on Valiant Conductor II. Leonick completed his inspection of the engines and insisted they were ready for power. Shandra instructed everyone how to check for damage to a ship’s hull from the inside. Then everyone split off and began assessing different parts of the enormous vessel.

Jyra ventured into the stern below the engine room, making her way toward the starboard hull. “Ships of the Kaosaam System” had indicated this part of the ship would likely consist of storage and power bunkers. An empty cargo bay lay behind the first door she entered off main corridor. The closed door gave her moment’s pause, until she saw the marks from Berk’s hammer that marred its left edge. Members of the resistance had already been through this part of the ship to check and fix the doors.

A number of crates were stacked in the next room, which was dark. Jyra flipped a switch on the wall and several lights clicked on. She began reading the packing labels on the crates, moving between them with mounting eagerness and urgency. “Crackers, bread, oats, rice, pasta” Jyra read aloud, her voice trembling with excitement. Another label listed dried fruit, nuts, and chips. One box contained jars of water.

“There must be fifty crates here,” she said, pressing her fingers into her hair. “This will last us for months.”

For the first time in a long time, a sense of relief spread through Jyra and she sat on one of the crates. The fortune of finding such a large supply of food overwhelmed her. She put her face in her hands, surrendering to her feelings. For a moment, she remembered the feeling of her bed on Tyrorken, the creases in the sheets and the weight of the blankets. She thought of the days before she fled her planet, when her brother and her parents were still alive. It suddenly seemed as though no time had passed since their deaths.

Jyra pushed her hair back and wiped her eyes with the back of her arm. She waited for the relief of discovering the crates to fade, but it remained fixed inside along with her sadness.

Jyra heard footsteps in corridor and stood up to find the label on the crate so she could pretend to be reading it.

“Oh,” Craig’s voice said from the doorway. “I’ve strayed into your part of the ship. What’s in the crates?”

Jyra did her best to keep her face hidden as she tested her voice, wondering if it would betray her emotions.

“Food,” she croaked. “There’s food and water here.”

“Are you kidding?” Craig said, rushing into the room and checking the first label he saw. “I can’t believe it.”

Jyra gave a jerking nod and Craig noticed something was wrong.

“What is it?” he asked, the excitement draining from his words. He approached from behind and put a hand on Jyra’s shoulder.

She turned and pressed her face into his chest so that he couldn’t look at her. They put their arms around each other. One of Craig’s hands traced small circles on her back. Jyra focused on the sensation, managed to quell her tears, and she broke the embrace. She shuffled back to the pile of crates and sat down, staring at her hands in her lap.

“I’ve lost so much,” she said slowly. “For what? We destroyed a building, but TF ships are still out there. I thought the resistance would give me something I wanted.”

“What do you want?” Craig asked, joining her on the crate. Jyra glanced up into one of the lights, thinking.

“Vengeance,” she said dully.

“You don’t sound very convinced,” Craig said with a small smile.

“I know,” Jyra said. “I think it’s what I want, but I have no idea how to get it. When I heard about the plan to bomb TF headquarters, it seemed like the perfect solution. I thought it would satisfy me. But it didn’t and now I’m worried that whatever I want, I won’t be able to get it.”

“It sounds like you need to choose that first,” Craig said. “Once you’ve got a goal, you’ve got something to focus on and achieve. It doesn’t need to be related to the resistance.”

He stopped talking abruptly and stared at the floor. His eyes narrowed and his brow was furrowed. Jyra glanced at him and remembered the only other occasion when Craig had looked that way. It had been Jyra’s first day back at Jed’s Garage after getting stitches in her hand. Craig had arrived late and he wore that same expression when he entered the shop.

“You’re thinking about your goal, aren’t you?” she said gently and he nodded. “What do you want?”

Craig took a deep breath and drummed his fingers on his knees.

“I should start by reminding you of some advice I gave you once. After we got out of the TF complex, I told you not to regret things you didn’t do.”

Jyra recalled the exchange more vividly that she cared to, but she only nodded to encourage Craig to keep talking.

“We’ve both lost our parents to TF, but in different ways,” Craig said and Jyra felt her eyes grow wide with curiosity. “I haven’t done a very good job of taking my own advice. I know I did all I could to prevent my parents’ fate, but it’s easy to blame my efforts, because, obviously, they weren’t enough.”

“What happened to them?” Jyra said. Craig rarely discussed his parents and Jyra had never seen them.

“Have you ever heard of Somasteria?” Craig asked. Jyra shook her head.

“TF has gone to great lengths to keep the disease out of public knowledge. Once someone contracts the illness, TF quarantines them. If they or members of their household are caught discussing it, they are thrown in a medical facility. More of a jail really.”

“What causes it?”

“Somasteria is caused by several of the products TF uses for drilling. Excessive direct contact with skin leads to the early stages of the disease. It primarily attacks the blood, but eventually compromises the nervous system. There’s no cure, only symptom blockers, but within about two years, the victim is completely comatose.

“Both of my parents contracted the disease on a weeklong drilling mission. They weren’t even handling the solvents, but they were exposed to the fumes. Your susceptibility depends on the strength of your immune system.

 “The first symptoms weren’t very severe—lapses in memory and difficulty sleeping—but they got worse as time passed. They had trouble eating and drinking. Forming complete sentences became a challenge. They developed paranoia and night terrors. Even through all that, it wasn’t too hard to look after them, until they began to forget who I was. There was a two-week period where they asked my name each day. At the end of those two weeks, they stopped asking. Not long after that, they just stared straight ahead and never said another word.”

Craig pushed himself off the crate and crossed to the opposite wall. Jyra was too stunned to move. She couldn’t believe such a debilitating illness could be hidden from the public, let alone that it had affected someone so close to her. It sounded too horrible to be real. She couldn’t imagine what it must be like to have her parents gradually forget who she was. Craig’s ordeal seemed even worse because he had been there, watching it happen.

“I wanted to hide them,” he said, turning away from the wall. “I wanted to get them somewhere safe, but they were each in medical beds by the end. There was no way to move them on my own and when the TF doctors came, it was all over. My parents were transferred to the medical facility, beyond my reach.”

“Can’t we go after them?” Jyra said.

Craig gave a hollow laugh and shook his head.

“That brings me back to my point,” he said, pushing his hair off his bowed forehead. “I could try to rescue them. And what would happen if I did? Get myself injured or killed in the process. At the very least, I’d get a company of TF agents pursuing me. The way I figure, even I get out of there with my parents, it’s more of a risk than I care to take. They look at me but don’t see me. Even if they’re still alive, my parents have left their bodies. Sometimes it takes all I’ve got to fight back how I regret not being able to save them from TF. I can regret the things I did, because I could have prevented them. But it’s not worth going through the anguish and grief over things I didn’t do. Life’s hard enough without extra misery anyway.

“Let’s finish checking the hull,” he said after a brief pause. “Then we should head back to our ship.”

“All right,” Jyra said, but before we regroup with the others, we need to do something.”

After completing the inspection and finding no faults with the hull, Craig and Jyra made their way back to Mastranada. They bypassed the cargo bay, ignoring the chatter within.

Jyra entered her quarters and promptly began digging through her duffel while Craig lingered in the doorway. After moving Dario’s dagger and setting “Ships of the Kaosaam System” on the floor, Jyra found the small canister. She stood and beckoned Craig forward. He stood in front of her, eyeing the silver vessel in Jyra’s fingers.

“Close your eyes,” she said, unscrewing the lid.

She dipped two fingers into the charcoal powder and applied the Mourning Mark to Craig’s forehead. Some of the black dust fell into Craig’s eyebrows and eyelashes, disappearing immediately.

Jyra screwed the lid back on the canister and gripped Craig’s arm. He opened his eyes and a let out a deep breath. Jyra extended her fingers again and pressed the Mark and Craig blinked before pulling her into another embrace.

“Thank you,” he said, fighting to keep his voice steady.

“You’re welcome,” Jyra replied. “May you carry their memory with you forever.”

“And you,” Craig said.

                        *

“Well?” Macnelia asked when Craig and Jyra stepped into the cargo bay.

“The hull’s solid,” Craig said.

“In that case, I suggest we prepare to power up the engines,” Leonick said. Berk gulped his whiskey and passed the flask to Leonick.

“Right, let’s get to it,” Macnelia said. “It’s time we had little control over our direction. What do we do first, Leonick?”

“If you mean in order to start the engines, we need to calibrate them and bring each one online and link them to the bridge.”

“Jyra, can you help Neeka and me forge the link from the bridge?” Macnelia asked.

 “Of course,” Jyra said.

“Leonick, why don’t you take Craig to assist in the engine room?”

“I cannot think of reason, so come along,” Leonick said, motioning to Craig.

“The rest of you will work with Berk in the main hangar,” Macnelia said.

“What are we doing?” Shandra asked.

“Getting the auxiliary laser cannons mounted in place,” Macnelia answered. “Once we fix the shield drive, we’ll start hunting down the remaining TF ships.”